Maybe Tom Cruise Wasn't So Crazy

I’m thinking maybe Tom Cruise wasn’t such a nut job when he had his own sonography machine in his house.  Honestly, I would love to have the ability to see our little one everyday, just to reassure myself that all is well in there.  And to convince myself that yes, indeed, I am really, really pregnant.

11 weeks – You’d think that after 11 weeks, an ultrasound, and hearing the heartbeat TWICE I’d be able to at least start wrapping my brain around the fact that there is a baby growing inside of me.  But no such luck.  I think it’s just me trying to guard my emotions, not letting myself get my hopes up.  But it’s starting to frustrate me.  Why can’t I just embrace this and let myself relish in the joy and excitement of it all?!

         Hormones.  I’ll blame it on hormones.

I guess hormones get the blame for all pregnancy ups and downs, so that’s what I’m going with.

Anywho, our last appointment was on March 11^th, and we are dying for the next appointment!!  Every time we have an appointment, I leave the doctor’s office feeling so excited, overwhelmed, and at peace at how things appear to be progressing.  This high seems to last a few days, then it begins to taper off, then the worry slowly creeps around the corner, until it’s staring me in the face.  And then I take a deep breath, and hold that breath until my next appointment – which will be our NT Scan on Friday (to check for any genetic issues) and then our monthly OB appointment next Monday.

         This is going to be a s-l-o-w week.

I’ve been feeling okay lately – And if you’ve read all of my previous posts, you know that feeling “okay” is a huge step here.  So I decided to try to do something sweet for my hub and actually plan a date for us (since he’s been so sweet).  So Saturday we went to the movies, and out to dinner.  I actually went into a restaurant.  Huge success.  It was really nice to feel like a normal couple for a few hours, even if it did leave me exhausted… It was totally worth it.  We even batted around a few name ideas, though we are nowhere near making a decision.  We have a loooong time to decide, though, since we won’t be finding out what our little one is until his/her birthday.

Speaking of our little one, he/she is now the size of a lime.  A lime, people!!  Wasn’t it just a few short weeks ago that I was excited about graduating to the size of an appleseed?!  Now we’re talking actual fruit, which is super exciting if I do say so myself.

I’ve been trying to continue to stay calm and at peace, convincing myself that this is all totally out of our control.  All I can do is try to take care of myself, not read into every twinge or lack of twinge, and trust that God made women’s bodies to do this.

And I’m also telling myself that the following five things should be enough evidence that yes, Jessie, you are knocked up.

1.     My pooch.  Still looking more like, “Wow, she’s really let herself go” and less like, “Awww, she’s got a baby bump” – But that’s okay.

2.     My skin.  It looks like that of a teenager at band camp.  ‘Nuff said.

3.     My starting to dissipate, but still randomly appearing nausea.  Like a constant hangover – minus the alcohol.

4.     My need for larger undergarments.  TMI, sorry.

5.     My inability to finish any food item I purchase at the grocery store.  As in, omigosh, I have to have this right now, but after I have a few bites, I can’t look at it ever again.  (See desk drawer pictures below… Embarrassing, but honest.)

Cheez-Its, Rice Cakes, Saltines, Ginger Cookies, Ritz Bits, and Peanut Butter.  But wait...

There's more... Sour Patch Kids, Sweet Tart chews, Trail Mix, Raisins, Oatmeal, a packet of mustard, Peeps...  I'm laughing out loud typing this.  Geez.

So on we go… I can see the second trimester on the horizon.  And while sometimes I feel like a cartoon character whose feet are running frantically, but aren’t getting anywhere, I am thrilled that we are at the end of Week 11.

And by the way, maybe Tom Cruise was a liiiittle crazy, because I just priced ultrasound machines, and they appear to start around $75,000.

11 Week Bump - No real change from last week!

11 Week Bump covered up - Go Tigers!