Friday, September 27, 2013

Randoms from the Road!

Well, my little family of three is en route to Georgia this weekend (more details on that in another post), so for the first time, I'm posting from my phone! I'm assuming it'll look different in format, and I'll be sure to fix it the next time I'm at my computer... But we're three-and-a-half hours into a six hour road trip with a toddler who finally decided to CHILL THE EFF OUT, so I decided to kill some time with a randoms post.

*We're currently driving past the exit to my alma mater... I SO wish we could go to the football game tomorrow to watch the Tigers woop up on my hub's team, the Deacs! In fact, I don't even think we'll be in a position to WATCH the game tomorrow, which is gonna drive me crazy!

*We've been listening to the song "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" on repeat for almost two hours. I was thisclose to buying and chugging a beer during our last gas station pit stop.

*I CANNOT believe my nephew, Banks, is going to be FOUR this weekend!! I remember so vividly visiting him in the hospital when he was born. He taught me a whole new way to love... he's the little boy who made me an aunt, who added a whole new dimension to our family tree and made every get-together more memorable and meaningful. Happy Birthday, little buddy!

*I am LOVING my new part-time job!!

*I'm getting antsy with our house and the decor... I want to totally change some things up, but don't even know where to start! I'm terrible at stuff like that.

*A little over a month ago, I stopped running per doctors' suggestions. I've been walking instead. I've definitely enjoyed slowing down a bit, "enjoying the view" a little more and pounding the pavement a little less. But I've noticed my clothes fitting tighter and things being a little more jiggly. Given our current situation, it's actually not a BAD thing. But no woman feels like that is a GOOD thing. And speaking of the jiggle, I am CRAVING a fast food cheeseburger! Ha!!

*My little girl is going to be TWO in less than two weeks!! As all mamas say, the time has FLOWN by. And I really am soaking in every second of every age and stage. I have to say we're having a blast with the current one.

*And speaking of the little birthday-girl-to-be, the big bash is three weeks out and I am a little worried about getting everything taken care of. As I've mentioned before, I have ZERO motivation to throw a Pinterest-inspired party, but feel such pressure from the current social norms. As long as my girl is smiling and eating cake, I will consider the party a smashing success.

*Welcome back, fall television! Oh how we've missed you!!

*I wish I could go to acupuncture everyday. It truly leaves me feeling SO relaxed and at peace.

*I am loving my new Costco membership! Especially the free samples. Hello, free Saturday lunch!

*I got CK's Halloween costume at a consignment store the other day. With our current budget, I just wasn't willing to spend $30+ on something she'll wear for a couple hours. I don't LOVE her costume, but it was only $6 and I know she'd look cute in a brown paper bag. I can't WAIT to see the montage of kids in Halloween costumes on Facebook!

*And speaking of Facebook, I've been trying to take a bit of a social media break these days. Instagram doesn't bother me as much, but sometimes Facebook is just too much, ya know? Comparison is the thief of joy, and sometimes I let my joy get stolen too often. Sad, but true.

*We bribe Cameron with M&Ms. To do any and everything.

Ok, time to go order that cheeseburger! Yippee!!!! Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Happy Fall, Y'all!

Pumpkin spice lattes, leaf piles, and football... Oh my!

Like other Pinterest-trend-following-bloggers, I decided to decorate our house with a Fall Bucket List.  I did this same idea with a Summer Bucket List back in June, and loved working as a family to accomplish the fun tasks!  However, throughout the summer, I found myself constantly worried that we might not check off everything on the list!  I'm crazy, I know.  So anyway, I decided to make the fall list WITHOUT check boxes... that way it's more of an inspiration than a daunting to-do list.  I know we'll have so much fun filling up our fall days with these fun tasks!
Here's what's on the list:
*Rake leaves and jump in the pile
*Visit a pumpkin patch
*Roast pumpkin seeds
*Watch football
*Donate to a food bank
*Go on a nature scavenger hunt
*Go hiking
*Go on a hayride
*Make fall cookies
*Carve a pumpkin
*Go on a picnic
*Watch a scary movie
*Eat candy corn
*Pick apples
*Make (and eat!) caramel apples
*Give thanks
*Make leaf art
*Go trick-or-treating
*Go to the fair
*Bake a pie
*Make chili

Happy Fall, y'all!

Saturday, September 21, 2013



How did this happen so fast?!

And day two, because I obviously didn't take enough pictures on day one...

Such a big girl, walking in all by herself.  Guess I'd better go ahead shop for her dorm room...

Dear Time,



Thursday, September 19, 2013

Should We Turn Left or Right? Or Right-and-Three-Quarters? Or Maybe, Not Quite?

Tonight our school is hosting an Oh, the Places You'll Go-themed Curriculum Night.  In an effort to prepare, we read the classic Dr. Seuss book to our first graders.  It's a book I hold close to my heart, as I always used to read it to my third graders on the last day of school.  However, since I changed jobs back in 2010, it has sat dusty on my office shelf for years.  This year, though, I was able to pull it back out in my classroom and put it to good use.

As I was reading it, though, I had a really hard time holding back tears.  While the book can hold many different meanings depending on the reader's perspective, it seems to speak volumes to what we're going through right now.

Based on my previous, probably too-raw post, it's no secret that lately our lives have revolved around doctor appointments, fertility treatments, medicine and injections that make me look and feel like death, more bad news, way too many needles... and lots and lots of conversations with God, committing to trying to remain faithful no matter how hard it is while also trying to choose hope no matter how hopeless we feel.

And Dr. Seuss spoke right to me through his crazy prose:


You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting."

I cannot even tell y'all how accurate these words are for me right now.  Recently, it's been all bang-ups, and hang-ups, being left behind as everyone, I mean everyone, has soared right on.  Leaving me to feel alone, very alone, and angry, and resentful, and scared.  Because no one, no one understands... other than my husband, who has been on this journey with me, every step of the way.  And it's not anyone's fault that they don't understand, that they've left me alone, saying and doing things that make me feel worse, even more isolated - but it has still led me to the place where streets are not marked, and windows are dark.  Wondering whether to turn left, or right, or sit down and just give up.  And it is constant waiting... for a better break, for sure, and another chance, no doubt.  But also wondering if those things will ever happen.

And Dr. Seuss continues...

That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing..."

Somehow, no doubt, we will escape.  We'll find our bright place, whatever that may be... one day we'll be on the other side of all of this, hopefully understanding the journey and growing stronger because of it.

Dr. Seuss concludes with:

"I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never foget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)


be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!"

According to good ol' Dr. Seuss, we have a 98 and 3/4 percent chance of succeeding... which are much better odds than the doctors are giving us, so I think I'll stick with Dr. Seuss.

I can't wait to get to the Great Places... I can't wait to have OUR day.  In the meantime, we will keep on keeping on.  We've decided we can't even take things one day at a time right now, but more like one hour at a time.  We're overwhelmed, we're scared, we struggle to remain hopeful - but we're brave and we've got each other, and though we know it's going to take everything we've got to continue this journey, our journey... I'm anxious to see the places we'll go.
All words taken directly from Oh, the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss, copyrighted in 1990.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Always, Sometimes, Never

I Always...

--have to end every meal and snack with something sweet.  No meal is ever complete without satisfying my sweet tooth!

--brush my teeth and wash my face before I go to bad.  It doesn't matter how tired I am or what the night has consisted of... I absolutely cannot fall asleep without a clean face and teeth!

--say prayers with Cameron Kate before she goes to bed.  Actually, T and I both do.  It's something the three of us share every single night.

--wonder if CK will EVER get back to enjoying bath time.  Kid loves a pool, hates a bath.

--pop my knuckles.  It drives TJ crazy, and I don't even realize I do it!

--have a bottle of water with me, wherever I go.  I feel naked without it.  I drink liters and liters and liters of water a day.

--put chapstick on before going to bed.  Another thing I have to do before I can fall asleep!

--eat breakfast.

--sleep better when we have fresh clean sheets on the bed.


--I wish Cameron wasn't such a light sleeper, because I always want to sneak in and watch her sleep.  But if you even put your hand on her doorknob, she'll wake up.

--I will snack throughout the day instead of eating lunch.  Breakfast and dinner are non-negotiables, but lunch I could do without.

--I wish I had a stylist and a personal shopper.  I feel so clueless when it comes to getting dressed!

--my sweet tooth is out of control.  Yesterday, I had a cupcake and a milkshake within the span of about four hours.

--I wish we traveled more.

--I think I should seek therapy for my fear of storms/tornadoes.  It's bad!

--I want to try to find a job in higher education... maybe one day!

--I wonder if writing this blog is a silly hobby - but I'm hopeful that by turning the posts into a book once a year, it will serve as a "journal" for my family.

--I wish kids' birthday parties hadn't turned into such a Pinterest-inspired industry.  We're on a pretty strict new budget, and I really need to keep Cameron's upcoming party low-key.  I just hate how everyone else makes them such big to-dos!  I'm terrible at that stuff!

--I can't decide if I like my hair short or long.

I never...

--sleep through the night without waking up at least twice.

--leave dirty dishes in the sink.  The dishwasher is always emptied as soon as possible so that dirty dishes are out of sight.

--regret my decision to go part-time.  I'm loving the balance of work and play and feel so fortunate to have this opportunity!

--put gas in or wash my own car.  T always does it for me.

--take a minute with my daughter for granted, and I never will.

--want CK to grow up.  I'm having so much fun with her these days!

--follow through with anything I pin on Pinterest.

--read enough scripture.  I'm doing better now that we're able to be regulars at our church, and I love my daily devotional app.  But scripture always brings me peace, so I need to read it more.

--feel like getting ready.  I HATE putting makeup on and drying my hair!

--go to bed without a cup of water beside me.  Apparently I'm pretty obsessive-compulsive about my nighttime habits.

--imagined my life would look like it does right now.  But I love the ups and am pushing through the downs!

Happy Saturday!!