Wednesday, July 11, 2012

So This is What Happened

It was time for Cameron’s afternoon nap.  She’s not a very good napper, and Bailey barks if a leaf falls off of a tree.  So, because I was expecting UPS to drop off my new Timi and Leslie diaper bag (!!!) right around CK’s nap time, I decided to shut the blinds and put a note on the door that read, “Please don’t knock… sleeping baby” in hopes of keeping Bailey from waking up her little sister.

So, I parked my rear on the couch, caught up on classy episodes of Teen Mom, and worked on Cameron’s baby book.  I heard the UPS truck drive up and set the package on the porch.  I was SO excited!!  But, our front door is ridiculously loud when you open it, and Bailey usually goes ballistic when you do open it because she thinks someone is here… SO, I decided I’d wait and retrieve the package once Cameron woke up.

Five minutes later, I hear a car pull into our driveway.  Hm… I was curious as to who was here.  My good friend Lindsay had mentioned that she may come by, so I thought it could be her.  I grabbed Bailey in hopes of preventing an epic barking meltdown, and peaked through the blinds.  There was a guy getting out of a car.  My first thought was, “Please don’t knock on the door and wake up my sleeping baby!”  So I headed toward our garage, thinking I would open it and stop him before he knocked, because he must be trying to sell something.

But I stopped in my tracks, about four steps away from opening the garage.  Wait a second – he was questionable-looking, and did he pull his hood over his head when he got out of the car?

I went back over to the window and peaked out of the blinds, trying to figure out what this guy’s MO was.  If he was about to try to break into our house, I needed a plan.  In that moment I saw him pick up my glorious package from Amazon, and head back saunter toward his car.

WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!!!  (Much more innappropriate curse words screamed through my head.)

This guy was stealing my new diaper bag!  This idiot had walked right up to my house and was taking something that was mine!  This criminal was thirty feet away from my precious little girl!

It’s all a little bit of a blur from here.

My initial reaction was to run out after him, scream at him, and get my damn package back.  I was FURIOUS.  I grabbed Bailey and went to the front door, opening it, staring at him as he put his car in reverse, trying to imprint his appearance and car in my mind, holding myself back from running outside toward him.  Bailey was, you guessed it, going ballistic.  He must have heard her or seen me, because at the same moment when I shut the door because I realized I was being stupid and careless (this guy could be CRAZY, could have a GUN), I heard a loud SMACK.

I thought, “Oh, he saw me, and threw my package out of his car.”

I peaked back through the blinds and saw that he had reversed right into a huge oak tree on the side of our driveway.

Karma at its finest.

I FINALLY grabbed my cell phone (obviously my brain wasn’t working as quickly as I would have liked) and dialed 911.  I filled them in on what happened as he drove away with my new, expensive, mustard-yellow Timi and Leslie diaper bag.

And with my sense of security.

And with a dented bumper.

I was furious.

I felt so incredibly violated.

The rest of the afternoon was spent talking to policemen (who, as of now, still haven’t caught him, despite my impressive description of both him and his vehicle… I couldn’t get his license plate number, unfortunately).   I also spent quite a bit of time on the phone with our insurance company, UPS, and Amazon.

Materialistic issues aside, I was furious.

And sad.

And disappointed.

And scared.

I’ve gone through all sorts of emotions since it happened.   I was furious that someone took what was mine.  I was sad that I didn’t get my diaper bag.  I was disappointed in myself and the way I reacted.  I was/am scared that this scumbag is going to come back with a scarier agenda.

Obviously, this guy is the type of guy who follows around UPS trucks, watches them drop off packages, waits to see if people are home, and, if they’re not, steals the packages off their doorsteps.  With our blinds closed and my car in the garage, it obviously appeared as though we weren’t home.

My disappointment in myself mostly stems from even considering running out after this guy.  I try to imagine what I would have done had CK not been in the picture.  I think I probably would’ve been more scared than angry.  But, with her sleeping peacefully in her room, just a few feet away, my mama-bear instincts kicked in, and I was pissed.  I wanted to throat-punch and sumo-tackle this guy all in the same moment.  My fear is that by going to and opening the front door, this guy realized that I saw him, which puts not only me, but my family in danger.

Oh if I could only go back in time…

The good news:  Amazon customer service is AWESOME and immediately set it up to send me another diaper bag.  Also, T called the officer who came to the house and asked for extra patrolling tonight and all day tomorrow.

The bad news:  Amazon customer service cannot replace my sense of safety, my sense of security.  Now I’M the one going ballistic every time I hear a leaf fall off of a tree.  I’m so on edge, so scared, and feel so violated.  I’m not sure what it’ll take to make me feel safe and secure in my house again, but it infuriates me to think about what this criminal stole from me.  And I’m not referring to the diaper bag.

BUT… I would love to see the look on his face when he opens up the package and realizes how big and bad he feels to have stolen a yellow diaper bag.

Enjoy, scumbag.


  1. OMG how scary!!!! I would be PISSED too. But, reason 945,786 why I love Amazon. But I can definitely understand the loss of your sense of security. :( Getting our Honda stolen about 50 feet away from our door at the condo totally did that for me.

  2. And I love the new blog look!

  3. One more, and thanks for linking to my blog on your sidebar! Awesome!! :)