Monday, May 30, 2011

Halfway There!!

First and foremost, YAY for being halfway through!!!  I cannot believe we’re at the halfway mark.  It’s all sort of gone by ridiculously fast and painstakingly slow.  When I’m in the moment, milestones that lie ahead seem soooo far away, yet when I look back at all we’ve accomplished – me and my little bug – it all seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye.

Our 20 week appointment this week was great.  Same ol’, same ol’.  Weight…Check.  (Yikes, by the way.)  Blood pressure…Check.  Pee in a cup…Check.  Listen to the perfect sound of our little one’s heartbeat…Check.  Pull out my sheet of questions…Check.  Reschedule in four weeks…Check and OH that-seems-too-far-away-are-you-SURE-you-don’t-need-me-to-come-back-sooner?!

At this appointment we also turned in our registration cards for the Lamaze, breastfeeding, and infant CPR classes.  How exciting!  I remember at our 8 week appointment they told us we’d register for those classes around 20 weeks, and I thought that seemed eons away – but, here we are!  Like I said, it’s simultaneously a snail’s pace and a racecar’s pace.

Now, back to the first part of every doctor’s appointment – the weight check.  Dun dun dun.  I feel like at every appointment Ryan Seacrest should be standing by the scale… “Dim the lights… it’s time for the results.”  Any woman who has ever been pregnant knows exactly what I’m talking about.

You see, back when I was not pregnant, I would look at every curvy pregnant body with envy, and gasp when pregnant women complained about how they looked or the weight they gained.  How could they complain?!  They were all so beautiful!  And duh, don’t you know you’re supposed to put on lbs when you’re growing a human being?!

And now, I’m one of them – and I totally get it.  At first, I would be anxious in a non-negative way to see what the scale said at each appointment.  At the last appointment, I had only gained one pound, and I was sure something was wrong.  How could I have gained one lonely pound when my stomach was poking out and my underwear didn’t fit anymore?!  But no worries, mama Jess – you’d make up for it soon enough.

At this last appointment, I was shocked at the number on the scale.  Now I can blame it on the fact that she wouldn’t let me do the whole pee-in-a-cup thing before the weigh in, or that this appointment was at 4:00pm compared to my last 8:00am appointment – but the truth is, it was the highest number I have ever seen on a scale that I was standing on.  (As I exclaimed during the Biggest Loser finale, “I weigh more than some of those contestants!”)

Now, I’m not naive – I do realize that being pregnant = weighing more than I ever have in my life.  But boy does it play a mental toll on you.  I’ve been exercising as much as physically possible during this crazy time of work/grad school and eating only when I’m hungry.  (Now, I probably could eat a little better – but I think half of the fun of being pregnant is letting yourself indulge in eating what you want, when you want it!)

But I’d be lying if I said that this week’s weigh-in didn’t rock my world a little bit.  I may have even shed a pitiful tear once I drove away from the doctor’s office (and was away from my hub).  I know, it’s ridiculous.  But, it’s the truth.

And now, I’m forcing myself to get to a MUCH better mental state about it all.  I am back to my tentative plan of wearing a bikini this summer to rock this baby bump.  And I definitely trust myself enough to know that post-pregnancy I will get back to a healthy weight.  While it may take quite a few months, and while I’ll never have the same body again, I realize that this is all a teeny tiny price to pay for the joy of creating a life.

Oh, on the non-weight front – I SAW my belly move from the outside yesterday while our bug was apparently having a dance party, AND my hub got to feel the little one kick today.  Yeah, in your face, weight gain.

Ok, time to go order a pizza. J  Enjoy the 20-week, halfway-there belly shots!

20 Weeks!!!!!!
20 Weeks from the front!
P.S.  This was 7 Weeks from the front!
20 Weeks - full body shot!

1 comment:

  1. Don't even sweat it, Jessie! You look wonderful, and you'll be surprised, especially if you nurse, how fast the weight comes off. After Patrick was born, I think I shed about 13-15 pounds in the first few weeks because I was constantly (or so it seemed!) nursing him, which burns MEGA calories. (Not to mention I was so sleep deprived that when I had to choose between eating or sleeping- uhhh, sleeping ALWAYS won out in those first few weeks!) Just wait until you're 28 weeks or so- peeing in a cup gets verrrrry interesting when you can't see around the belly bump! Love the posts!