Cupcakes & Running Shoes: Still Here... Still Pregnant

As my husband likes to point out, I haven’t reached my due date yet (tomorrow!) – so really I shouldn’t complain. But complaining is just easier than sucking it up. J

I’m definitely feeling incredibly blessed to be sitting here, a day away from 40 weeks pregnant, carrying a full-term, albeit LARGE baby. I just can’t wait to meet this little one!! I know y’all are sick of hearing about how anxious I am, but geez – I am so freakin’ excited. Remember when I compared everyday to Christmas morning in a previous post, saying that the anticipation of knowing that I could go into labor at any moment was ridiculously exciting? Yeah, well, now it feels like I’m stuck at the top of the stairs at my house on Christmas morning and my mom won’t let me down to see my presents. (All of my siblings, I know you totally get this analogy.)

Patience is definitely a virtue.

We had our 39 week checkup this week, and I was showing a little more progress than three weeks ago, so that’s good. Hub and I decided before the appointment that we would let the doctor put all of the cards on the table and see what he had to say before we started asking questions. The doctor immediately brought up induction options… I think he knows I’m a little antsy. J Medically speaking, it’s always better to go into labor spontaneously. But the question is, when would my body do that? Tonight, next week, two weeks from now? I imagine because the doctor knows it’s a big baby and that I’m slightly obsessed with meeting our son/daughter he broached the subject of induction.

So anyway, based on my progress at my appointment last Wednesday, the doctor said there would be a slightly higher risk of having to have a c-section if I went for an induction. He wants me back tomorrow (Monday) to check for more progress, and he went ahead and tentatively scheduled an induction for Tuesday afternoon depending on my progress and how the hub and I are feeling. (Tuesday was chosen based on when he’ll be on call at the hospital.) He did say that if I am still sitting at the same progress I was on Wednesday, he’d leave the decision up to the hub and me.

And let me tell you my brain has not turned off since that appointment.

I know, I know – I should just wait until Monday and see how my body is doing before I try to make any decisions. But it’s hard to ignore the what-ifs – What if I haven’t progressed at all, and the doc leaves the decision up to us? What if I’ve made good progress, and am thus a good candidate for induction? What if I choose induction, and I would have gone into labor the very next day? What if I put off induction, not knowing that my body needs medical intervention to get things going? What if the baby gets too big while I put off induction and I have to have a c-section? What if, no matter what, I’m going to have to have a c-section anyway?

I know, I’m slightly neurotic. But this blog started as a private pregnancy “journal,” and it’s always been an outlet for me to let it all out. So that’s what I’m doing. J

Obviously my hub and I have talked A LOT about how we will proceed after the appointment tomorrow. He respects me and my level of comfort and will support whatever I want to do in terms of waiting versus being induced. Obviously, from the outside looking in anyone would say, “You’ve made it this far! Keep waiting!” But that’s easier said than done. Though my hub is convinced that I’m handling being 40 weeks pregnant quite well, I’m bordering on miserable. And have I expressed how ready I am to be a mom?! So literally one hour I’m leaning toward being patient, and the next hour I’m leaning toward induction, getting so ridiculously excited at the prospect of knowing we could meet our little one on Tuesday or Wednesday. (!!!)

Whew… are you exhausted yet?

In all honesty, I probably wouldn’t go much further than Thursday or Friday “waiting it out” – I have to admit that I am getting a little nervous about the size of this bug. So that would mean waiting two-ish days longer than the Tuesday induction, and that I’d be at the mercy of whatever doctor was on-call.

Anyway, I’ll quit boring you with my mental ridiculousness.

To get out of my mind yesterday, I decided to go to the Wake Forest game with the hub and we had a blast!! We had awesome seats, though we ended up having to switch sides and sit up realllly high to get my big butt in the shade. After nearly two hours in direct sunlight I almost fainted and thought we were going to have to leave. But once we were in the shade (and the Deacs were winning!), I was good to go. When we went to the shaded side, we ended up sitting around a lot of older folks. One man just could not wrap his brain around the fact that I was two days away from my due date. He kept telling everyone around him that I was due on Monday, and kept saying that I was making him nervous. One lady said, “I hope you don’t have that baby today!” To which I replied, “Well I hope I do!” Another lady assured me she was a nurse and was there if I needed anything. Too bad I didn’t go into labor at the game – the hub would have LOVED to tell that story!

I had hoped that I wouldn’t be typing this blog update OR have to make the induction decision – and this morning, I really thought that might be the case! I started having contractions and strong cramps at about 7:00am… They were anywhere from 7 to 15 minutes apart, sometimes uncomfortable (enough to wake me up from my 5-minute spurts of sleep), but sometimes just tightening. I finally got out of bed around 8:30am, and they continued. The hub and I went for a walk around 11:15am to see if they’d go away, and they got worse. It was a rough walk! We’d talked about going to the movies today, but on our way back home I was convinced it was about time to call in and see how I should proceed. I managed to take a shower and eat an apple, and things seemed to be slowing down. L Bummer. So we proceeded to go to the movies (Moneyball… Great movie!), and while I’ve still had some tightening and noticeable cramping on and off, it obviously isn’t what I was hoping it was. Oh the mind games! Hopefully, though, the pain and discomfort is a sign that things are progressing in there. J

Have I mentioned some of my new pregnancy joys? Carpal tunnel? Lovely. Groin cramps? You should see what I look like when I’m walking down the hallway and I get one of these – hilarious! And oh, the snoring – or more like snorting/grunting. Most of the time I’ll snort so loud it will wake me up… Imagine how my hub feels?! To be woken up about thirteen times a night to a snorting, sweating, swollen, mound of flesh who weighs more than he does.

The good news is, all the books say that a lot of the late pregnancy woes disappear quite quickly upon delivery. So don’t worry, babe. J

So, thanks for listening to/reading my neurotic post today. Thoughts and prayers that my body finds a way to kick itself into gear over the next 24/48 hours are greatly appreciated. Yes, I realize I should be soaking in these last few child-free days, these last few days with my wonderful hub, these last few mornings of being lazy. But I’m ready for the chaos. For the sleepless nights. For the hazy mind. For the amount of love everyone tells me I’ll feel for this little creature. For the time when I won’t be able to tell up from down, or left from right. I can’t wait to go through the journey with my hub… But I guess I have to… for now. J

And now, a sneak peak at the nursery!!