Spring Break 2K18

Well Spring Break 2018, you did not disappoint!  And to prove it, here is a big ol' picture dump of how we spent our glorious week off...

I was able to sneak in egg hunts and parties at the boys' school before they and CK left to go to NC to spend Easter with their grandparents...

And then I headed to my Gram's in SC, and had the best time being sister and aunt and daughter and granddaughter and niece with my amazing family:

When the kids got home, we dove into our typical shenanigans, including sidewalk paint and scooters and bikes and Target.

We made chocolate chip cookies from scratch and snuck in lots of excuses to eat ice cream...

We spent time in our most favorite place - OUTSIDE - with a scavenger-hunt-filled trip to the Greenbelt:

We, along with our good friends and about half of Atlanta, went to the zoo...

We attempted to wash the seven inches of pollen off of our cars...

Brooks became familiar with our timeout corner (hashtag RATTAIL):

CK had her very first sleepover, and I'm not sure our house has ever been filled with so much giggling...

We made homemade stress squishies:

Had a blast swimming and celebrating a friend's birthday:

And managed to sneak in plenty of smiles and snuggles...

It was such a good week - you know, the kind of week that is just good for the soul?  I had some much-needed time with family, time to myself, times with friends, time for new adventures... and a whole bunch of moments where my house was loud and upside down and my arms were full and I was exhausted in the best possible way... <3

And now, the countdown is officially on ~  

See you in six weeks, summer break!!

Currently

Since I'm currently on Spring Break with a tiny minute to get lost in my blog, I thought I'd write a post on something I used to do every so often... which is to include what's currently going on in my crazy, chaotic, beautiful life...

So, I am CURRENTLY...

*Loving - the Hip Hop BBQ Pandora station.  Don't judge me.  Go listen, and you'll be hooked, too.  You're welcome.

*Reading - Girl Wash Your Face, which is lighthearted and so good and full of so many truths.  And also?  This devotional every morning, which I am loving.  Can't start my day without multiple cups of coffee and Jesus!

*Waiting for - the pollen to GO AWAY.  I woke up with no voice a couple weeks ago - like literally, no sounds coming out of my mouth (and if you know me, you know this also means it was the quietest I've probably ever been in my whole entire life).  Anyway - I am now on a constant, heavy dose of daily Zyrtec and some other allergy medicine because the entire town of Carrollton is basically covered in seven inches of pollen.

*Trying to - wrap my brain around the fact that my sweet CK is a reading machine!  Girl is just like her mama, and loves all things school/homework/academics. #NERD and proud.  But y'all, listening to her read basically makes my heart want to explode out of my chest.  The BEST!!

*Excited about - the fact that I now officially own my house ALL BY MYSELF.  It took a lot of learning and number-crunching and hard work, and it took crawling out of the hardest season of my life.  But I did it!

*Working on - my fitness. HA!  Now, y'all know I need to run like I need to breathe.  BUT, I decided I wanted to see some changes in this mom bod, and am mixing in some weights and workout classes inbetween my runs.  And it's honestly refreshing to be doing something a little different!

*Enjoying - this week off of work!  I love, love, LOVE my job.  But a week off with time for me and time with friends and time for new adventures and time with my kids is good for the soul.

*Using - Netflix, like crazy.  To save some money I cancelled all forms of cable, etc.  So we only use Netflix and I love getting sucked into binge-watching shows.  Come college football season, I'm gonna need an antenna or a sports bar or something... but for now, Netflix will do.

*Wearing - MyIntent bracelet.  Haven't taken it off in about six months.  Have you heard of them?  I love the story behind it, what it represents, how you make it your own.  Last February I got my very first one, and my words were Be Still.  My current words?  Choose Joy.  I'm starting to get the itch that it may be time for a new one, but need to wait and see what word(s) my heart settles into...

*Planning - my birthday weekend!  Thanks to a huge surprise, I have a fun trip in the works with some of my most favorite people, and I cannot wait to be sitting on an airplane by their sides!

*Singing - this song!!  My kids and I love this song, and it's our go-to kitchen-dance-party track.

*Needing - to teach CK and E how to put on their own soccer gear.  Like, why isn't there a better way to put shin guards and those big ol' socks on a three-year-old's foot?  It literally takes me like fifteen solid minutes to get Everette geared up for soccer, and I usually end up sweating.  Which, if you're wondering, being on his very own soccer team is like the best thing that has ever happened to Everette in his whole life.

*Listening to - so many good podcasts.  I've been listening while I get ready in the mornings, and during my runs.  My current favorite is For the Love with Jen Hatmaker.  So good, especially if you love her books as much as I do!

*Learning - to let myself be vulnerable, again.  And to let others help me when I need it.  That it's okay to ask for help, too.  So to those of you who will come fix a broken toilet or mow the grass, to my neighbors who are always there when I need any and everything, to my brother and his wife who came into town and spoiled me and the kids with handiwork and food and a freezer full of meals... thank you. <3  And as I always say, your kindness and generosity and selflessness will be paid forward!

*Doing - some praying because y'all -- tomorrow night I will have FIVE KIDS in this house BY MYSELF.  CK has been begging to have her first sleepover, and I finally agreed.  I've got double the ingredients for our traditional Saturday morning breakfasts to fill up all the bellies, and all kinds of snacks in the pantry.  This house is about to be taken over by five children 6 and under.  PRAY.

*Wishing - the weather would stay warm!  Sunshine does a soul good, and lately Georgia can't quite decide which season it is.  I am ready to spend all daylight hours outside, pleaseandthankyou.

*Dreaming of - so many things, you guys.  So many dreams, so many things to be excited about, so much to look forward to... <3

I will, too.

In between all of my smiles and my brave and my okay-Jessie-be-strong-self-pep-talks, there are still so many moments where I literally cannot catch my breath. Like, the air will not fill up my lungs because it is all so raw and all still feels so unbelievable.

And honestly, I think it always will be-- surreal.

Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.  And anyone who has ever experienced a traumatic event knows that no matter how "recovered" you are, it is and always will be there.  It will always be a part of you, always be a part of your story.

And it probably feels and always will feel like somewhat of an open wound, because it was a life-altering event you never, ever saw coming.

So yeah... sometimes it's still hard to breathe, ya know?

And today, in God’s always perfect timing, I found myself lost in this article sent to me by a dear friend.

And I was reminded, and hope you will be, too... that sometimes we just have to live in our truth in order to live in His. That God will give you moxie to make it through your current storm.

And that we can do all hard things, because of Him.

God will not forsake you, He will not betray you, He will never break your heart.

And while God cannot control the choices of others, or prevent your pain and heartbreak... He can and He will help you heal the broken, help you fill up the emptiness with a light and a strength and a hope you never knew existed in the depths of your soul - a soul He created.

If there’s one thing of which I feel certain, it is that there is joy waiting for me. I’m not sure what it is, what it will look like, where it will be-- but with all of my heart, I know it’s coming.

Just as He rose, I will, too.

In the depths of my soul I can feel something.  I can feel the tiny flicker of a flame of hope that will soon light my path to an entirely new kind of happiness.

The clouds are clearing, you guys...

 

Don’t get lost in your storm. 

Have your moment, live your moment— whether that moment is a day or weeks or, in my case, many, many, many months.

But listen to Him... and He will guide you in leaving that moment, when it is time.

When it is time to leave behind your sorrow, sever the brokenness to find your whole self... when it is time to hear what He truly wants for you.

...

I remember in one of the most vivid moments of my entire life, sitting in my daughter's room last August: I felt God. Actually felt Him and heard Him.

He took my hand, holding my heart in the palm of His.

And He began leading me out of my storm.

He never promised this would be easy, you guys. But He did promise He’d walk with us through it all.

And in a time where I have questioned everything I’ve ever known about love and loyalty and trust and forever... I have more love and hope and faith in God than I ever have, ever before.

In the One who will be with me, forever.

He’s still holding my hand- a little less tightly than before, because I’m a little steadier on my feet these days.

And He’s reminding me to breathe when I can’t find the air, and He’s telling me that it’s coming, it’s coming... something is coming... the rising is coming. <3

one-and-a-HALF!

Brooks, Brooksy-poo, Caboose, 'Boosey, my little blonde-headed, 26-pound nugget of pure joy:

You are one-and-a-HALF!

We all know I love to celebrate all the things, including half birthdays.  And I cannot believe we're already halfway to you being two.

You are a mess.

You are smart and silly, playful and sneaky, such a ham and such a heart-stealer.  And it's not just me who is wrapped around those sweet fingers - your big sister is smitten, as are all of the teachers at your school.  And pretty much anyone you come across as you smile and wave, "Hi!!!!!"

As for your big brother?  He prefers to clothesline you as he runs full-speed down the hallway.  I think in brother-land that's called love.

You like to make messes and throw your food across the room.  You prefer to tell other people "No!", but don't like to be told "no" yourself.

You have officially been introduced to the timeout corner, and I have a sneaking suspicion it'll become a regular place for you to occupy in the coming years.

You wake up before the sun even thinks about rising... so, so, so early.  It's like the minute your eyes open you think, YES!  IT'S TIME TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY!!

You love to nod "yes" and shake your head "no," and you're talking nonstop... a lot of words/sentences in, perhaps, your own language.  But so many other new words and I am just so proud.  It's more than I can count, but some of my favorites~ Bye!  Moxie; Outside; Water; Stuck!; Hi Sissy!; Cup; Ball; Stuck!; Sliiiiide; No!; Thank-you; Cracker; Uh oh!; Look!; Toe-toes.

But my most favorite?

LOLLY!!!

You are obsessed with lollipops.  You will sneak into the "childproofed" candy drawer, weasel your chubby little arm through the crack, and wrap those fingers around a lollipop, running across the room shouting LOLLY! so very proudly.

And usually I just let you have it, no matter if it's 6am, because you're so stinking cute and #pickyourbattles.

Your eye color still perplexes me -- are they brownish?  Greenish?  Are they both a different color?

And the blonde hair... oh that blonde hair!!

You love to play with a ball of any variety, love when everyone claps for you, and love to stomp and dance and jump and you can actually finally get some air!

You prefer to snuggle with and sleep on top of your blanket, you only swing your left arm when you're running, and you will eat just about anybody under the table.

Brooks, I've said it before and I'll say it again:  I believe with all of my heart that God was so very intentional when he gave me you.  You, my caboose, a baby when getting pregnant was supposed to be pretty much impossible.  A baby who was the reason I had to get out of bed for many, many months when I just wanted to stay hidden in my darkness.  A baby who has the most joyful, sunshine-filled soul.  A baby who quite possibly saved my life.

One day, you'll be old enough to understand it all.

But for now, I will snuggle you and give you your snacks and let you sneak LOLLIES! and  tickle your Flinstone-shaped feet and smooch the space between your neck and your shoulder until you giggle uncontrollably.

I love you enough, Brooks.  I love you SO big.

Happy one-and-a-HALF!

~Mama