four

He handed me a bag, and in it I looked...
A weird anniversary gift, I thought - it was a book.

I looked up at your dad with tears in my eyes,
"Baby Names" was the title.  I knew it was time.

He was ready to start trying to grow our family -
Ready for the two of us to become three.

About six months later, we finally saw two lines!
And while we both believed you were a girl, we wanted to be surprised.

So for nine months we watched my belly expand,
And counted down the days until we'd finally hold your hand.

You made your debut on your due date... "It's a GIRL!" Your dad exclaimed.
I've never seen him so emotional...  I knew he'd never be the same.

I thought I knew love, and then I met you --
My daughter, my best, a dream come true.

I can't believe that day was four years ago.
It's like I blinked and here you are, so grown.

I'm incredibly proud of who you are becoming...
So sweet and so kind, so silly and so funny.

You love to be outside and you love going to preschool,
With your best friend Allie and Ms. Tina, who you think is pretty cool.

You can spell your name, know all the letters of the alphabet,
And can count to 100 - thought we haven't gotten rid of "eleventeen" quite yet.

You're obsessed with Paw Patrol and peanut butter and jelly,
And still won't sleep without your favorite friend Ellie.

But your favorite thing in the whole world?  That's definitely your brother.
And he looks up at you like he looks at no other.

I've never been as proud as I have been to watch you
Become a big sister to our buddy-roo.

You are the true definition of unconditional love,
And an absolute gift from God above.

Each and everyday I want to make you proud...
You teach me not to take life to seriously, to jump around, dance, and sing loud.

You'll never know what being your mama means to me,
And how you kept me going when I struggled to believe.

You gave me the absolute best gift in the world...
Because I became a mama when your daddy said, "It's a girl!"

And I will never forget my exact feelings on this date...
October 10th - the day I met my daughter - my Cameron Kate.

Happy 4th birthday to my best.  You make me so proud, my sweet girl.  I love you to the moon and back and more than anything in this world.  And I promise to continue loving you in the way you have taught me how to love - with all of my heart and soul, and every ounce of my being...

-Mama <3

Currently...

I always love reading this post from others, and even love reading my own from the past.  I was looking back on my blog the other day and realized I hadn't done one of these in almost a year!  So here's what is currently going on in my world...

Loving - salted caramel flavored ANYTHING.

Reading - Reading?  Who has time to read these days?!  The minute my butt hits the couch at the end of the day I'm basically asleep from our wonderful chaos of life, so other than my devotional/bible time in the wee hours of the morning, there's no reading going on here.  There are books literally piled up on my nightstand and I truly believe reading is good for the soul, so I'm trying to find a way to sneak it into my day.

Waiting for - my husband to buy a car already!  As I mentioned in a previous post, we sold the ol' minivan (PRAISE!).  Unfortunately, it's taking my picky thorough husband a little longer than anticipated to find a car he feels is a good investment.  In all honestly, T is so good at selling and buying cars, BECAUSE he takes his time.  But only having one car in the family has been tough! 

Excited about - CK's birthday on Saturday!  Cannot believe my girl is about to be four.  We have a surprise planned for her, and she keeps saying, "So I'm WEALLY gonna be FOUR when you take me for my SUPWISE?!"  Also?  We always told her you can only have gum once you're four years old.  She cannot believe that on Saturday she actually gets to chew a piece of gum.  Ha!

Trying to - get enough Pampers points to get this really cool ride-on toy for the kids!  Not sure if I'll ever get there, but Lord knows I'm trying!  If you use Pampers and don't participate in the points program, you should!  And if you don't want to, send them my way!! :)

Working on - not worrying about trivial things.  Most of what we worry about never happens, and most of the stuff that does happen is out of our control.  So why waste time and energy on worrying?

Enjoying - Watching Cameron Kate learn how to swim.  We started swim lessons a couple months ago, and she has always been terrified.  Like shake on the way there, scream-and-cry-throughout-the-entire-lesson terrified.  She recently switched to a different instructor, aka the kid-whisperer.  And after TWO LESSONS, I literally have to drag her OUT of the pool.

Watching her overcome her fear and learn how to be brave has been one of best moments of this whole mama gig thus far.

Using - My Rodan + Fields Macro E microdermabrasion tool like CRAZY!  You allllll know by now I'm an Executive Consultant with the company (insert shameless plug here), and lately I have been obsessed with this magic little tool.  You only use it once a week, and on Sunday nights I love seeing the five million dead skin cells that are sucked into the filter.  Gross, but awesome.

Wearing - old nursing bras that are way too big.  Ha!  I've got about a month left of nursing E, and my poor girls are already deflating.  I'm proud of them for nursing another kid for a year, but they are just plain pitiful.

Planning - birthday parties for my two kiddos!  CK's party is next Saturday, and E's is three weeks after that!  Cannot believe I'll have a four- and one-year-old... <3

Singing - "House Party" by Sam Hunt.  For some reason, CK has declared this to be "our song."  At any time of day don't be surprised to hear her singing it at the top of her lungs!

Needing - nothing.  As I sit here and wrack my brain for something, I truly don't need anything.  I am so happy and busy and fulfilled and chaotic and blessed and overwhelmed in the best possible way.  And also, in light of the recent tragic flooding in my hometown of Columbia, SC, I can truly say that I need nothing.

Learning - that life as a boy mom is going to be a little different than life as a girl mom.  Though CK can be a little wild, it's a completely different ball game with E.  He is all.over.the.place.  Into any and everything he can find, daredevil, fast.  Whew.

But speaking of the little stinker, can we please talk about how good his head looks in these before/after pics?!

Listening - to the hum of my new essential oils diffuser.  I'm officially a believer.  But I'm overwhelmed!  So if you have any favorites, any go-to's, any advice or suggestions when it comes to using essential oils - please share!

Wishing - I was better about decorating for holidays.  I always swear I'll hit up the stores post-holiday to stock up on decor items when they're on sale, and then I never do because who wants to buy something and then put it in a box for a year?  Anyway, this is as good as it gets around these parts, thanks mostly to the Target dollar spot. (And btw, when did it become the three dollar spot?!  Not cool.)

Doing - a major closet overhaul.  There are sooo many clothes in my closet and drawers I haven't worn in years.  It's time to minimize and donate and consign and cleanse.

Dreaming of - kids in Halloween costumes!  Well, maybe not dreaming about it - but y'all, I LOVE a kid in a costume.  Halloween is pretty much my favorite day on social media.  I have costumes planned out for the kids and just need to see if I can make it happen.  Oh, and did I mention that T and I are also joining in on some costume-wearing this year as we attend an adults-only Halloween party?!  Cannot.wait.

TGIalmostF!!

I Love...

Oh, my sweet Everette Lawrence.

I love you from the top of that spiky hair to the tips of your precious toes.

I love how your cover your own eyes to play peek-a-boo.

I love that you still suck the first two fingers on your left hand when you're sleepy.

I love how you're cruising around furniture and down the hallway with your push-walker... slow and increasingly steadier.

I love your sweet little lisp when you make the "sssssss" sound for what a snake says.

I love how you start dancing when you hear music or when we start singing.

I love that you're sleeping well again!

I love how you point to yourself with excitement when we ask, "Where's Everette?!"

I love how much you love any kind of berry and bananas.

I love how you are the messiest eater I've ever seen, hands-down.

I love how you say "teeth!" as soon as we walk into the bathroom and I open the toothbrush drawer.

I love how you point to things with such enthusiasm, arm extended, palm up, waiting for me to tell you exactly what you're pointing to.

I love that we've got 8 teeth under our belt!

I love how your face lights up when your daddy walks into the room.

I love that you are 100% all boy, so rough-and-tumble.

I love how excited you get to throw a ball back and forth.

I love how you look at your big sister.

I love all twenty-one pounds, thirty inches of you.  So much that my heart aches at just the thought of you, of being your mama.

And actually, that's what I love the most... being your mama.

Happy 11 months, my sweet, happy, silly, wild little boy!

Objects on Instagram are Not as Perfect as They Appear

A few weeks ago, someone left a comment on one of my Instagram posts that bothered me.

"The perfect family!!" They wrote.

While it was meant to be a compliment, it didn't sit well with me.  Not because of them... but because of me. Had my posts been portraying a perfect family?  Was I guilty of being too sunshine-and-rainbows on social media?  I purposely try NOT to only post the good on my blog/Facebook/Instagram.  In fact, it absolutely drives me crazy when I see other people portraying their lives as being so darn perfect.

It drives me crazy because I get caught in the trap - why don't we do that?  Why don't I have that?  Why doesn't our life look like that?  Why isn't that happening to us?

Comparison is the thief of joy.  And in today's social media-crazed world, it's impossible not to get caught up in other people's LOOK AT MY LIFE IT'S SO WONDERFUL highlight reels on Facebook.

So when I even thought, for one second, someone out there imagines us as the "perfect" (shudder) family, I wanted to immediately shout:  NO!  NO WE ARE NOT!  WE ARE SOOOO FAR FROM PERFECT!

I am stubborn, and often too short-tempered with the ones I love the most.  My husband and I have a wonderful and strong marriage, but we absolutely argue.  I am a terrible cook.  I watch too much tv.  More often than not, I'm in a ratty t-shirt, running shorts, no makeup, and my hair desperately needs to be washed.  I'm never on time anymore.  I bribe CK to do any and everything (especially smile for a picture to post).  There's a huge pile of maternity clothes still sitting on my closet floor because I'm too lazy to put them in the attic.  Most of our walls are still bare, even though we moved into this house almost two years ago...

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Today is a great example.

Today we went to a local farm to do all things fall. It.was.awesome.  Petting zoo, feeding animals, slides, a corn maze, a hayride, pumpkin picking... it was, truly, a picture-perfect fall morning.

And then...

On the way home I heard E's signature I'm-going-#2-noises.  No big deal, I thought.  And then I had to roll the windows down... that can't be good, I thought.

Y'all.

There was so much poop EVERYWHERE that when I got him out of his car seat to take him upstairs, it was running down my arms.

But wait, there's more.

As I took him to the tub, I rounded the upstairs corner and saw it...

A shredded poop diaper with its contents all over the hallway.  Somehow, someway, my dog found a dirty diaper and WENT TO TOWN.

Both kids were screaming, there was poop on ALL THE THINGS.  And I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry or take a shot of vodka.

(And if I wasn't taking E to the pediatrician this afternoon I absolutely would've had a midday beverage.)

So just know, when you see pictures of our wonderful morning at Ol' McDermitt's Farm... the rest of the day was pretty crappy (pun intended).

With all my heart, I don't want anyone to ever, ever, ever think we've got it all together in the Peele house.  At any given moment, it looks like Toys 'R Us threw up in my living room, Everette is eating a bug, CK is crying because her sleeves don't pull all the way down, I'm crunching our budget to figure out how to make it the last few days of the month, the washer is running to clean the clothes I put in there three days ago and forgot about, and a frozen pizza is cooking (and probably burning) in the oven.

So no, we're not perfect... not even close.  And please don't let anything I ever say/write/post give you that impression.  I try to be real and raw and transparent and open and honest, all of the time.  You never know what is really going on behind someone's Facebook post, so let's not get wrapped up in the awful game of comparison.  The grass is NOT greener.  Your grass - brown spots and pinecones and bugs and all of it's imperfections - your grass is just fine.  <3

Aw, so cute:

Reality: