Dear August 2018 Jessie

Dear August 2018 Jessie,

I am writing to let you know that you can do this.

You will do this.

I know you are scared - so scared... scared to go back into the classroom, to have your "own" students, to be responsible for making sure a room full of third graders learn and grow not only academically - but mentally, socially, emotionally...

I know you are terrified about how in the world you will balance work life and mama life and personal life.

I know you are so stressed, so anxious, so overwhelmed.

But you will do this.

You will find your way, back into your teacher self, with each passing day.

You will recapture the magic in your heart, rediscover the passion you have for the classroom, a passion you have put aside to focus on being a wife and on being a mother.

You will be a student yourself this year - learning from and being inspired by the absolute best colleagues and administrators, and the most perfectly-matched work wife.

You will do this.

You will cry.... oh how you will cry.  Because you will feel inadequate, because you will be exhausted (the most exhausted you've been in your entire life!), because you will be stressed, because you will be scared.

But those tears will allow those negative emotions to escape from your body so that you can get through each day, bonding with students in a way that exceeds all of your expectations.

You will work your butt off.  Before your own kids wake up, after they go to bed, in every nook and cranny of each day.  Though it will take some time to find a constantly seesawing balance, I promise that you will learn how to be intentionally present with your students and also with your own children.

Because - and hear me say this - God has intentionally given all of them to you... and given you to all of them. <3

You will fall asleep before 8:30pm most nights, and you will train your body to wake before the sun with your 4:47am alarm.

You will do this.

You will somehow cross your t's and dot your i's and produce a classroom full of students who will make incredible progress... a classroom full of students who will challenge you in the most important ways... a classroom full of students who will allow you to discover parts of yourself you didn't realize existed.

You will bond with one student in particular, a student who perhaps you need even more than he/she needs you.  A student who will become your why, forever engraving himself/herself into your teacher heart. <3

I will not say to ignore the fear, ignore the stress, ignore the worry... because you have every right to feel that way.

This school year is going to be hard.  So very hard.

But it is going to be worth it.

I promise.

You will do this.

And you will get to May.  You will get to the end of the school year, and all of those tears you cried at the beginning of the year will be back.

But this time?

This time those tears are tears of pride in yourself, tears of joy in rediscovering why God put you on this earth, and mostly... mostly those tears are you trying to let go of the grip your students have gotten on your heart as you bid them goodbye and wish them well as they transition to middle school to learn how to fly.

In May, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror, and say - I did it.

And then give yourself permission to rest, permission to recharge, permission to take some pressure off of your life.  Give yourself permission to focus on your family and permission to pour yourself into the most important relationships in your life.

Give yourself permission to take care of you.

Because before you know it, it'll be August... and it'll be time to walk back into your classroom, and do it all over again. <3

xoxo,
Me