Sunday, January 22, 2012

Intense Pain & Overwhelming Joy

The day Cameron Kate was born, my heart stepped outside of my body.  It has never returned.  She is it.  She is my heart.  And that is why I feel such intense pain when she’s not in my arms.

That’s why it aches all the way into my core the minute I hand her over to her “teachers” and walk away.  I drive away from her daycare school with a gaping hole in my chest, because I’ve left my heart inside of the building.

Cameron had two half-day trials last week at her school – she did great.  I was a disaster.

Tomorrow, I go back to work.  So this post is short, and to the point, because I’ve got a lot on my mind.

Tonight I am focusing on the overwhelming joy I get from being so thankful for the following:

1.    My daughter, who makes me smile from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
2.     My husband, who is the most incredible man and amazing father I’ve ever known.
3.    My mom, who came to visit this weekend to love on Cameron Kate and take my mind off of all of the changes that are quickly approaching.
4.    A job that I love, mostly because I work with a wonderful group of people.
5.    A job that helps to provide food to eat, a house to live in, and money to pay bills.
6.    A job that allows me to touch the lives of kids who may not be as fortunate as our sweet girl.
7.    And mostly, the opportunity that God has given me to work everyday to be the best mom I know how to be.  I only hope I can learn how to be all she deserves.

Starting now, I’m counting down the minutes until 4:30pm tomorrow when I can go pick up my girl, and have her back in my arms where she belongs.
Cameron's first trial day of "school"
She's so excited to go meet her new friends!
 Before school...
After school... exhausted!
 Playing with Bammy
 Getting some Bammy love!
 So sad to see Bammy go!
Hanging with her good buddy George

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