Sunday, February 26, 2012


There’s nothing quite like the love of a grandparent.

I remember going to Grandma and Grandpa’s.  I remember sliding down the stairs on egg-crate mattresses, playing “roly-poly” downstairs, my brother shooting us across the room off of his feet, attempting to simulate what we called the “bubblegum machine.”

I remember dressing up in Grandma’s clothes, putting on plays that we swore were Oscar-worthy, playing card games until the wee hours of the morning.

I remember searching around outside for lizards, and the cage my Grandpa built me so I could take home my new pets.

I remember how my Grandma and Grandpa always had grapefruits and the cool little ridged spoons made just for eating the fruit I always found to be disgusting.

I remember thinking their bathtub with the whirlpool jets made it feel like I was a rich person in a jacuzzi.

I also remember going to my Granny’s house.  I remember the oatmeal cream pies she kept in the drawer in the fridge, and the country-fried steak she always made for dinner.

I remember hours around her glass kitchen table, playing yahtzee and uno and crazy eights while Sarah Bearnheart watched.

I remember the closet in the guest bedroom, full of toys.  I remember the perfect vacuum lines in her carpet, and the way they quickly disappeared and were replaced with our footprints.

I remember the picture of my dad she had sitting on an easel in her bedroom.

I remember the shower cap she always had hanging by her shower so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up.

I remember trips to Myrtle Waves, Maze Mania, and innumerable games of putt-putt.

My siblings and I were fortunate enough to have incredible grandparents.  They sprinkled my childhood with laughter, and sunshine, and memories that will always be with me.

And I’m confident that my sweet Cameron Kate will have the same kind of memories when she’s my age.

She has a Bammy, and a Digby – a Grammy, and a Papa – and a Meme, and a Ging Ging… all of whom love her dearly and light up when they see her, just like I do.  I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to think about the kind of memories she’ll make as she grows up in the arms of her grandparents.

To Bammy and Digby, Grammy and PaPa, and Meme and Ging Ging – I’m so lucky to have you in our lives.  Thank you, already – for loving her, and for giving her your hearts… please know that you already have hers. J
Digby & Bammy
 Grammy & PaPa
Ging Ging & Meme

Sunday, February 19, 2012

To my sweet Cameron Kate

You're now four months old.

Will you stop growing up already?!  Before we know it you'll be in Kindergarten, getting ready for prom, going off to college, and walking down the aisle and I CANNOT handle those milestones anytime soon.

You are an absolute joy and life with you just gets better everyday.

I've never seen your dad more in love, by the way.

Your hair is FINALLY growing... slowly but surely.  It's gotten quite a bit lighter since you were born, though it's still definitely brown.  There still isn't enough to clip in a hairbow - but don't worry, I've got them ready. J

Your eyes appear to be changing color, too.  Of course you were born with blue eyes, like every baby - But they seem to be a little more grey now.  And yesterday, in the car, when the sunlight shined into the window and hit your big, curious eyes, I noticed some brown creeping in around your pupils.  I can't wait to see what color they end up being.

You are starting to make all kinds of new noises - you're definitely experimenting with that voice!  And you FINALLY gave us Dad some giggles!  You refused to give them to me... until Valentine's Day!  I was lying on the floor in your nursery, with you lying across my belly.  And I kept popping up my head, saying, "Hello!"  And apparently that was hilarious!  You melted my heart that day. J

You were dedicated at your PaPa's church last weekend.  You should've seen the look on his face as he walked around with his granddaughter in his arms.  You melted HIS heart that day.

I have seen a hair of a temper... it's so funny to watch you get mad and learn how to express your anger!  Mostly when I've got the aspirator stuffed up your nostril, trying desperately to get out those boogies.  Or when I'm delaying your "milk milk" - like mother, like daughter!

You are OBSESSED with your feet.  The sooner you can get your toes to your mouth, the better.  And sometimes, your socks get on your nerves.  Your teachers have even left your socks off JUST so you can happily suck on your toes.  We're trying to help you practice sitting in your Bumbo seat, but all you do is hunch over to try to get to your feet.  It's hilarious!

You reached a HUGE milestone when you rolled over from your back to your belly!  Your dad and I were lying on your nursery floor with you, singing songs and playing, and you just sort of turned to your side and then rolled all the way to your tummy - popped your head up and looked at us like, "Hey!  Did you see that?!"  Luckily, we've got it on video.

You now like to occasionally sleep on your stomach (which makes me a nervous wreck!), but mostly prefer your side.

You still love your mobile and your kick piano.  But your new most favorite toy is your set of links.  Wherever you go, they go.  And, of course, your pink lovie.

You love doing the hokie pokie with me.  But I think I love it more.  J

Often, when you're drinking your "milk milk," you'll stop, turn your head, look up at me and just grin from ear-to-ear.  This mostly happens during your before-bedtime feeding, and it's the best part of my day.

You're just starting to notice your "big sister" Bailey.  You even reached out to pet her the other day!  Soon, I know y'all will be best buddies.

I've been trying to teach you the word "mama."  Though you're nowhere near saying that word, when I say it to you, you'll smile at me and talk back to me with the sweetest little coos.

You are doing so well in school, and your teachers adore you!

You still do a great job of going to sleep after we put you down awake.  Your naps, however, are VERY inconsistent - ranging from 30 minutes to 2 hours.  You go to bed between 7:00pm and 7:30pm each night, and wake up in the mornings between 5:00am and 6:30am.  You've always been a great sleeper!

You're starting to care less about your paci, though do still want it occasionally.  You also went through quite a thumb-sucking phase, but haven't really cared to do that much lately.

You love our lotion song in the mornings, but I think your absolute favorite part of the day is bath time with Dad.  He always gives you a different "bubble hat."  And you just smile and talk to him and kick those sweet little legs.  I always knew you'd be a Daddy's girl. J

In the mornings, when you wake up, you're always full of smiles.

You, my dear, are the light of our lives.  When we put you to bed at night, we always talk about how much we already miss you!  And everyday with you is such a gift.  I am so proud to be your mom, and can't wait to continue journeying through this life with you in it.

I love you, Cameron Kate.  To the moon and back and more than anything in this world.
4 Month Photo Shoot

Me and my girl
 Such a big girl in her high chair!

 Stop growing up so fast!
Dressed for your dedication... in the dress I wore when I was baptized

Sunday, February 5, 2012

A Letter

Dear Dad,

I never really knew you.  Though you were a part of my life for a little over seven years, my relationship with you was brief enough that I find it hard to picture your face.  I vaguely remember the sound of your voice, the trace of your moustache, the way you towered over Mom.  The smell of your pipe, the rumble of your laughter, your dark brown hair.

Its unfortunate, really… that I never got to know you, the way most daughters know their fathers.  For reasons we’ll never know, you decided your time in this world needed to come to an end.  You know by now that I’ve wrestled with a lot of emotions over this – frustration, anger, curiosity, devastation.  I’m not sure if I’ll ever understand – and forgiveness always seems just within the grasp of my fingertips.

But I just want you to know… we’re okay now.

In fact, we’re more than okay – we’re all doing great.

Mom met the love of her life, a man who makes her heart feel full and puts a smile on her face she so deserves to wear.

Dame married a girl who I swear was born to be a part of this family.  The day she showed up it was like, “Oh hey – there you are – we’ve been waiting for you.”

Linds also fell in love with her soulmate, and has two beautiful, incredible children.  I’m so sorry you’ll never know them.

Whit's also managed to meet a wonderful guy, and has grown into a beautiful, independent, remarkable woman.  You’d be so proud of her, Dad.

And me?  Well, I met the kind of man I’d always dreamed of, but wasn’t sure existed after you left us.  The kind of man who makes me feel so special… who loves me unconditionally and makes me feel so lucky to wake up everyday next to him.

But most importantly, the kind of man who has shown me what it means to be a Dad.

A man who provides for his family, rushes home to scoop up his baby girl in his arms.  A man who tries to beat me into the nursery to get Cameron up from her naps.  A man who brought out her first giggles, who cried with tears of joy the moment he laid his eyes on her sweet face.  A man who would do anything in the world to see her smile.

A man who will never, ever leave us.

I hate that you’ll never meet him.  And I hate that you’ll never meet my sweet baby girl.

But I just wanted you to know that we’re all so happy.

And I will never take a minute of my incredible life for granted.

Cameron Kate and her Dad