Hello

Oh, hello end-of-the-school year. Where in the world did you come from?!

As the kiddos and I wrap up the year and welcome summer, here are a few randoms and happenings in our chaotic neck of the woods…

*Youguys. Last weekend my trio and I trekked out of town and had the best time. The main reason for the trip was this little girl:

Bella celebrated her third birthday – which was also her FIRST birthday here in our arms. My older sister, as per usual, threw an amazing, Pinterest-worthy party and it was just a day full of celebrating the fact that we’ve got this girl exactly where she’s supposed to be. <3

 *So, another reason for the visit was because – as I’ve mentioned before – I have the worst TMD (misaligned jaw). It’s basically all due to clenching my teeth, which is a result of stress (LIFE-1, Jessie-0)… anywho, my amazing littlest sister is an orthodontist in SC and referred me to an awesome jaw specialist… which led to an appointment where all kinds of testing was done, medicines were prescribed, and I was sedated so that I could receive 12 injections into my jaw and coordinating muscles. Hopefully I’m finally on the road to getting rid of this TMD mess!

*Oh, and I lucked out with picking this particular weekend to go visit my family, because my older sister just so happened to have a 90’s themed party to attend Saturday night… and I got to tag along! We borrowed cheerleading uniforms from our former high school and wore our letter jackets to rock our 90’s look – and we won best costume!!

*And the last reason for our trip – Mother’s Day! This year, I knew I needed to spend Mother's Day weekend surrounded by some of the most amazing mamas on the planet. And I had such a great day and was honestly spoiled by my family and my kiddos (thank you to those who played a part in this!).

*While I'm talking about trips, I guess I should mention NASHVILLE! Y'all... my high school girlfriends surprised me with a trip for my birthday last month, and it.was.amazing. Like, one of the absolute best weekends I've ever had in 35 years of living. And also? I LOVE NASHVILLE!!

Oh, and I got a tattoo. Which I'm obsessed with. I've had it planned for quite awhile, but kept it a secret. 

A semicolon -- the punctuation an author uses when they could've stopped, but chose to keep writing... <3

*Speaking of writing - there's a girl who I've basically had a big ol' blog crush on for YEARS. We were fast internet friends and had so much in common in so many seasons of our lives. Like, it was scary how much we felt destined to be friends. But geography was not in our favor. Until it was, and she happened to be in good ol' Carrollton.

I could've talked to her for hours days. And I am crossing all of my fingers and toes that sooner than later we can laugh and cry together again!

*So, my trio and I saw a baby armadillo during our neighborhood walk the other day. What in the...

*And speaking of my neighborhood - can we talk about how lucky I am to have neighbors who are like family, neighbors who will drop what they are doing to fix a pipe, play with the kids so I can go for a run, take some of my laundry home, drop off yummy treats?! It truly does take a village, and I'm so grateful for mine!

*I recently decided that I love having fresh flowers in the house. I've never had them in the past, but have now realized how much fresh flowers can brighten a room (and my mood!).

*Cameron Kate and Everette wrapped up their spring soccer seasons, and the angels sang Hallelujah. I’m all kinds of pumped when it’s time for the first practice, but by the end – I AM SO SICK OF PUTTING SHIN GUARDS AND TALL SOCKS ON MY THREENAGER. Not to mention the fact that with their schedules, we had soccer on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. SOS.

Cameron continues to love soccer, and learned a lot this season. 

Everette spent the beginning of the season smiling, the middle of the season not listening and throwing tantrums on the sidelines, and at the very end I succeeded in bribing him to play (and he even scored his first goal!). 

Cameron wants to keep playing soccer, and E’s decided he’d like to try teeball in the fall, so we’ll see how that goes!

*As for summer sports/camps, we’re going to lay low this summer with a week of Vacation Bible School for all and a week of horseback-riding camp for CK. Other than that we are gladly taking a break from our scheduled, organized life. 

*And we are welcoming summer with open arms because TODAY WAS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!! I've got a couple teacher work days next week, but today was the last day for the kids. Honestly, today was bittersweet for me, and I was an emotional wreck. Getting a job at my school was such a God wink. I was lost and broken, literally withering away both physically and emotionally. And then, I found myself -- at this elementary school, surrounded by the most incredible administrators, teachers, staff, and students. CES has been my anchor and my safe haven for the past ten months, and I am so honored to be a part of the Trojan family...

*I do have to admit that I'm excited to take a break from packing school lunches. Amiright?!

*As we wrapped up the school year, we've had all kinds of graduations/celebrations and performances. Brooks wrapped up his first year at "school" with donuts and field day...

...and Everette graduated from his class with a celebration and the "Best Smile" award.

Today was both of the boys' last day at their current school, as they will be attending a new preschool in the fall. We are so grateful for the teachers who have loved on them this year! It was a tough transition since they have both been home with me since birth, but we all made it!!

*As for my girl, today we bid kindergarten adieu. Look at how much she's grown up!

Over the past couple weeks, we've celebrated with a sing-along and a goodbye brunch and lots of squeezing her bestest friends and amazing teachers. 

I am blown away by Cameron Kate and how well she's done this year. Life as she knew it was completely flipped upside down, and I was so worried about how it would affect her in school. But, God put her with the absolute perfect teachers, surrounded by the most amazing friends, and she had such a wonderful first year in elementary school. 

And - she got the "Master Writer" award. We all know that made my mama heart proud! :)

*With that, it's time to say hello to summer, hello to new adventures, hello to new beginnings. Hello to finding my way, hello to saying yes, hello to making memories. And rather than focusing on the goodbyes, I am going to try with all of my might to keep focusing on the hello's, on the tomorrows, and on the rising sun that each new day brings... <3

Thank You for the Yellow, Mama

For me, it began when she wore yellow to my dad’s funeral…

On that day I’m sure she wasn’t thinking the yellow would impact me so much.  But as I’ve written about before, it’s one of my most vivid memories surrounding my dad’s death.

Yellow. 

The first of many colors my mom chose to use as she was forced to start painting a new picture of life for her four children.  She had a choice of how to react, how to respond… to stay stuck, or to fight her way toward the sunshine. To fall, or to rise. To choose pain, or to choose joy.

And in the middle of her darkest days, she picked out a yellow dress and began painting a brave and happy and strong and beautiful life.

I don’t remember the sadness.  I don’t remember struggles.

I remember that yellow dress – and I think about it every single day now that I, too, am a single mama.

It is because of you, Mom, that I can wake up every day feeling strong, and brave, and worthy, and enough.

It is because of you that I have been able to muster up the courage to get through the past year and a half… the courage to do whatever it takes to keep my kids living in the sunshine.

It is because of you that amidst all of the brutal moments, I still dance in the kitchen and laugh way deep down in my heart and hope and dream in the brightest shades of yellow.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama…

…and thank you. <3

To the moon.

E 3.5

Oh, Everette.

As I sit down to reflect on you, I am flooded with all of the emotions.

You see, buddy, we’ve always had a very special connection.  From the moment you were born… well, after I got over the shock that you were actually here, actually a BOY (both of which were such dreams come true!)… 

I’ve been wrapped around those perfect little fingers.

I’m not sure, but maybe it's because I fought so long and hard to become pregnant with you, stopping at nothing to bring you into this world.  It’s hard to explain, but it was like I knew in the depths of my soul that if I just didn’t give up…

...there would be you.

And so, because of that, or maybe because our souls intertwined so deeply when you grew inside of my belly… I have always had this connection with you that cannot be put into words.

And, buddy, I know you feel it, too. <3

And when I remember how my heart felt all mushy and melty the first time I saw you, I cannot believe that day was three AND A HALF years ago.

Everette… You’re three AND A HALF today!

And you are three and a half years of snuggles and deep breaths, sweetness and timeouts.

You love to wear costumes, especially those of the superhero variety.  You like weapons and swords and Nerf guns and fighting and wrestling, and you’ll actually bust out some pretty impressive ninja moves.

You love all sports, especially baseball and soccer.  In fact, this spring you’re playing your first organized sport!  I’m not quite sure you get the concept yet, but Lord knows your smile lights up your face when you get to wear your soccer clothes.

Your silly faces make me laugh out loud every time, and your giggle is contagious.

 You ask to listen to the Taylor Swift song “Look What You Made Me Do” every.single.morning.  You know almost all of the words. In fact, you love to listen to music, to learn the words and who is singing each song, and will even act out my crazy car dances with me.

You would eat every minute of everyday if I let you.  You always, always, ALWAYS want a snack, much preferring snacks to meals.  In fact, your feet will hit the floor from the dinner table and you’ll say, “Mommy, I’m hungry.  Can I have a snack please?”

Your hairstyle is still… special.  And I’m not sure I’ll ever figure out how to make it look decent.  Sorry buddy! You can figure it out once you care. (Though most days now you do ask me to DO IT SPIKY!  I’m not sure you know yet that you don’t really have a choice - God made your hair spiky all on its own.)

You are grumpy in the mornings, and getting you ready for school is like wrestling an alligator in quicksand.  It requires strategy and deep breaths and I’m usually sweating and counting to ten and praying for patience. 

Basically by the time I get you and your brother dropped off at daycare and get your sister and myself to our school by 7:10am, I feel like I’ve been to war.

Speaking of your brother and sister – even though you’ll walk over to Brooks and clothesline him for no apparent reason, you love him so much and he, you.  In fact, Brooks is always saying, “Reverette!” 
And oh how you adore your “Sissy,” even as she bosses you around. But with every directive you follow, you’ll end up tackling her… so, it all evens out in the wash.

Other than mommy and daddy and your siblings, your next favorite person on the planet is Miss Katie -- and I'm not sure you would've survived your first year in "school" without her.

You are all boy, you’ve already been in a cast, and you recently had your first of what I’m sure will be many blood-filled freak accidents.  You came out minus some gum tissue, a sliced frenulum, and a bruised and turning-brown tooth, but we all survived and now I’m basically just holding my breath and waiting for the next time your boisterous self gives me gray hair.

 You love to ride your scooter, especially starting at the very top of our very steep driveway.

You can whistle now, and when you tell me a story you sort of talk out of the side of that sweet, expressive mouth.

And speaking of expressive mouths – just a couple weeks ago you got in trouble for saying the “f” word at school.  At the mere age of three. The word of all words. A word neither I nor your dad says.

A few days after that, you flushed a toy down the toilet because you and CK were arguing over who should be able to play with it.

 Jesus take the wheel.

Everette, amidst all of the deep breaths I have to take, in the middle of trying to learn how to be the best mama I can to a wide-open little boy, you will totally unprompted, randomly and sporadically tell me several times throughout the day:

“Mama?”

“Yeah buddy?”

“I love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.”

And then I forget all about the curse words and the toys down the toilet and the threenager behavior and my heart basically melts into a puddle on the floor and YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUDDY.

…

You are mischievous and trouble and rough and tumble.

You love your sleep, give the best hugs, and you are the best snuggler.

You are expressive and perceptive, aggressive and energetic.

You feel a lot of emotions, all of the feelings, and you’re still trying to figure out how to get them out of your body in an appropriate way.

You are so kind and caring and innocent and smart, and you ask me everyday, “Mom, am I sweet?”

And the answer, Everette, is that you are so sweet.  Your heart was made to love, and I cannot wait to see all of the people who come into your life and are lucky enough to be loved by you.

Because I know that every single day I thank God that he chose me to be yours, chose you to be mine, chose me to be the one to hear your giggles, to receive your snuggles, to answer your questions, to feel your unconditional love.

You make me a better person, a better version of me, a better mama with each breath you take.

Happy HALF birthday, buddy.

I love you with all my heart and soul…

~Mommy