Thank You for the Yellow, Mama

For me, it began when she wore yellow to my dad’s funeral…

On that day I’m sure she wasn’t thinking the yellow would impact me so much.  But as I’ve written about before, it’s one of my most vivid memories surrounding my dad’s death.

Yellow. 

The first of many colors my mom chose to use as she was forced to start painting a new picture of life for her four children.  She had a choice of how to react, how to respond… to stay stuck, or to fight her way toward the sunshine. To fall, or to rise. To choose pain, or to choose joy.

And in the middle of her darkest days, she picked out a yellow dress and began painting a brave and happy and strong and beautiful life.

I don’t remember the sadness.  I don’t remember struggles.

I remember that yellow dress – and I think about it every single day now that I, too, am a single mama.

It is because of you, Mom, that I can wake up every day feeling strong, and brave, and worthy, and enough.

It is because of you that I have been able to muster up the courage to get through the past year and a half… the courage to do whatever it takes to keep my kids living in the sunshine.

It is because of you that amidst all of the brutal moments, I still dance in the kitchen and laugh way deep down in my heart and hope and dream in the brightest shades of yellow.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama…

…and thank you. <3

To the moon.