Tuesday, November 4, 2014

A Letter to My Girl as She Becomes a Big Sister

Cameron Kate,

The time has come... a time I have dreamed of and longed for, a time I wasn't sure would ever happen... a time that is going to change our lives, your life, for the better.

You're going to be a big sister!

And I cannot wait to see you in your new role, my sweet girl.  I cannot wait to watch you experience a new kind of love in your heart, a love you will feel for your little brother/sister for the rest of your life.  The kind of love that makes your insides warm, makes your heart feel so full.  Having a sibling is something I've always cherished, and I know that you will, too.

We've had such an incredible three years together - you, Daddy, and me.  Just the three of us.  You've taught me so much about life, and about how to truly love with every ounce of my heart, with everything I've got.  You have made me hit the ground running each day, striving to be a better person, learning to appreciate the small things, yearning to be enough for you.  I've made a lot of mistakes, but you've forgiven me and taught me how to learn from them and do better next time.  And I've been in many dark places, only finding my way out because of you.

I am not sad that our time together, as mama and daughter, is about to change.  I know we're ready - you're ready - to meet our little miracle, the little baby who is going to complete our family and always remind us to never give up.  Just the other day we were talking in detail about how I'd be at the hospital for a little while until the doctors are sure that the baby and I are strong and healthy enough to come home.  And your eyes lit up and a smile jumped across your face and you declared, "Then we get to have our OWN baby!"

Yes, my girl, then we do get to have our own baby.  A baby we both already love so much, who we talk about everyday, who we both can't wait to meet.  A baby who is so incredibly lucky to be your sibling, to watch your example and follow in your footsteps.

Because, Cameron Kate, you are amazing.  Your joy, your spirit, your kind heart, your loving nature, your sweet soul - you make me so proud, each and everyday of my life.

So please know that though things are going to be crazy for a little while... though I may be sleep deprived, and distracted, and not able to drop everything for you exactly when you need me to... I am and always will be your mama.  The person who loves you more than anything in this world.  And that will never, ever change.  And while I will also love your little brother/sister with all of my heart, nothing will ever change how special you are to me.

I am so excited to start this next chapter of our lives - your daddy, you, me, and our very own baby.  And I want you to know that none of us - not your daddy, not me, not the baby inside of my tummy - none of us would be where we are today if it weren't for you and the strength and love you've given us, a strength and love that have kept us moving forward.

I love you, Cameron Kate, in a way you will only know the day you bring your own child into this world.  I owe my life to you, the girl who made me a mama.  Thank you for being the light of my life for the past three years, for squeezing my hand three times to tell me you love me, for helping me hold on to hope.

Tomorrow is the day!  It's time to meet our baby and show him/her how we do this thing called life, and how we feel this thing called love.

Always,
Mommy

2 comments:

  1. And sobbing like a baby.

    So thrilled for you all.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Court. <3 Abigail is next!

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