Quick Sunday Confessional

A lighthearted, quick, Sunday confessional~

*Do you bribe your kids like I do?  Have you heard of the ChoreMonster app?  Put it on your kid's tablet, download the Mothershp app on your phone...  Your kid does chores and earns points to redeem for rewards.  And all of a sudden things get done around your house without you having to lift a finger!  You're welcome.

*I have decided that I will always and forever hate the month of January.  Always.  And forever.

*I confess that my joyful little caboose is starting to be quite a handful!  Still joyful, but t-r-o-u-b-l-e.  Oh, and he's talking so much and I could listen to him all day long. <3

*I confess that I am loving the gym I recently joined.  It's so refreshing to do something other than just run, and I really am feeling stronger and seeing changes in my body and, not to toot my own horn, but I'm proud of myself! #toottoot

*I am obsessed with M&Ms, and I confess that I have at least one, usually two different kinds in the house.  I love all flavors and varieties.  Especially with a glass of red.  And especially before dinner.

*I am annoyingly excited about Everette playing his first organized sport this spring!  He and CK are both signed up for soccer, and I.cannot.wait.

*But recently Cameron has been taking some tennis lessons here and there, and she's actually really good!  I confess that I selfishly want her to fall in love with tennis -- I love the sport and her Bammy is quite the tennis player (and even played in college!).

*I confess that I usually, almost always, keep my phone on silent, on purpose...

*Oh, and besides M&Ms... if you know me you know I also love a Cadbury egg.  Once Valentine's Day is over I get giddy over the fact that alllllll the candy aisles are stocked with these sugar-filled pieces of heaven.  I confess that I've had quite a few, already, only four days post-Valentine's Day.

*So, since transitioning to becoming a working-full-time, single mama, dinner time has been mostly a time during which I tried to survive.  Refilling milk and picking up dropped food while simultaneously packing lunch boxes and signing agendas and calling out math facts.  Well, many, many years ago I knew that when I had a family, I really wanted us to have dinner together, around the table, at least on weeknights.  So, a couple weeks ago the kids and I finally found our rhythm, and we've gotten into such a better groove with our dinnertime.  And while there's definitely still chaos, having dinner together around the table is a time I will always cherish. <3

*Y'all, I have TMJ... and I confess that I wear a night guard to bed (#sexy) and even recently got a new one and I just can't seem to get my jaw right.  Any suggestions?  I carry all of my stress and tension in my jaw and sleep with my mouth clamped shut, clenching my teeth.  HELP.

*And lastly, I confess that Valentine's Day actually didn't suck as much as I thought it would this year.  Thanks to my three little loves, surprises from my friends and family and students, cupcakes, the most beautiful flowers, a heart-shaped, Papa Johns pizza, and the absolute best texts from my sister every hour, on the hour... my heart felt full and happy and strong and brave and hopeful...

Have a wonderful week!!

-This Valentine's Day-

"There is no fear in letting tears come.  Sadness is a gift to avoid the nothingness of numbness, and all hard places need water.  Grief is a gift, and after a rain of tears, there is always more of you than before.  Rain always brings growth." Ann Voskamp
...
 
I am a sucker for a holiday, and a self-diagnosed hopeless romantic.  I love all things love .. surprises and cheesy and sappy and sentimental.

So - truth is - my heart hurts today... this Valentine's Day... the first Valentine's Day I've been alone in fifteen years.

I am missing a love, grieving a love I thought I had and a life that is no longer.  Finding my way and learning how it feels to walk through it all searching for strength and courage, yet too often feeling broken and grief-stricken.

But my battered and bruised heart is still full of love today, and I am trying with all my might to focus that love on the three tiny humans who force me to choose joy, to eat the dessert first, to jump on the couches, to sing as loud as we can in the car, to dance in the kitchen, to kiss and to hug and to giggle and to snuggle and to embrace our new, scary, messy, beautiful life... a life in which they will always, always know what love means to me - the truth of my heart, that it beats for them, and that they were the ones who taught me how to fill in the cracks and piece it back together in the most imperfect, courageous way.

"Maybe the love gets in easier right where the heart is broke open -- because wounds are what break open the soul to plant the seeds of a deeper growth..."

Happy, Happy Valentine's Day from me and my three tiny loves. <3 <3 <3